A little something about me

[heisted from chocolate_frapp]

▪️First job – waitress
▪️Current job – middle school teacher
▪️Dream Job - writer and horse rider
▪️Favorite food – southern
▪️Favorite dog - all of them!
▪️Favorite footwear – i prefer naked feet the most; then come socks; after that, ugg-like boots.
▪️Favorite Candy – Chocolate chocolate chocolate
▪️Favorite Ice Cream - orange sherbet
▪️Your Vehicle – a wee little Lexus suv
▪️Favorite Holiday - Halloween and Chinese New Year
▪️Night owl or early bird- super early bird
▪️Favorite day of the week - Thursday is pretty damn awesome usually
▪️Tattoos - one
▪️Like to cook – not particularly, but i do like to eat. =D
▪️Can you drive a stick shift – i think so. it's what i learned on, but it's been AGES since i've done it.
▪️Favorite color - green and blue
▪️Do you like vegetables? I don't hat them
▪️Do you wear glasses - for reading and for distance when my eyes get really tired
▪️Favorite season - early fall and mid spring -- perfect riding weather!

Bits of Better

i'm feeling a little better, like i have somewhat more control of my life right now. that has led to a better outlook and has swept away some of the tangles in my heart. i'm not saying things are super-good-time-great, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

i'm trying hard to not overthink things. dwelling and analyzing and being in my head too much has always, always been a problem for me. i'm making conscious efforts to not be so...conscious of things.

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the trip to the beach with the fam + kid-friends was great. i felt like we were duggars-light and told the mister that if we had to feed that bunch of locust for an extended period of time, we'd be broke. while they are all good kids, i can empirically say that our kid was truly the best behaved. just her general way of moving through the world is more mannered and mature. love that kid.

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i found out that our usual go-to on thanksgiving is a no-go. this has created a problem and has me on the edge of falling a few steps back into the bad thinking place. i'm not sure what to do, to be honest -- i'm pretty conflicted, because staying home sounds delicious but there's so much pressure on that day to be part of something more big-family like. ugh. really, though, the kid is disappointed which makes ME feel like a shitty parent.

then again, i always tell her that she'll go to therapy because of me someday, so why not add to it? lol :(

when you're young, no matter what you get to make up for what you lack, there's no way to escape being very aware of what is missing.

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horse update?

the lady from SD came, rode, and tried to lowball on an offer. not only that, she wanted to take him for 30 days -- FOR FREE -- to "try him out". we were all "lol! no."

she told mister that she had to come see him based on the ad i wrote. that's pretty cool -- she drove 4 hours to see a horse based on my words.

i'm all sorts of "mad men" and junk. =D

so, he's still mine, i'm still his and we're going to work through things or not. i mean, why not? i'll give it a year, i'll see what happens.

and i'm paying a fuck-all amount of money on a horse i can't ride like i want to. so a year is reasonable.

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the great facebook sign off has helped my brain adjustment quite a bit i think. my trainerfriend said "did you get the information about the jewelry making party i'm having saturday?" and i said no. she hasn't even noticed i haven't been on there at all. lol

so even though i'm not on fb, i still get invited to things -- just in a roundabout, used-to-be-normal way.

i think i have 30 days before it deletes permanently, so i will probably reinstate it, make all private, then figure out what to do. but i don't have to think about that right now.

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we started "hello fresh" a few weeks ago and wow. WOW. i love it! the idea is to get back into cooking someway, somehow and this is working for us. the food has been really, really good and what's super nice is that they include menu cards so you can remake things if you want. we have already changed the korean bibimpap to reduce calories and have made it two more times. YUM. the pasta dish we tried with spinach ravioli and chicken sausage in a weird sour cream sauce was so fluffy good i couldn't stand it.

today, we're getting our next order:
* cherry balsamic pork chops
* lemon chive chicken
* salsa verde enchiladas (vegetarian)
* a container of the spinach pasta so i can try to recreate the chicken sausage meal

my hope is the kid will make the vegetarian options so she can learn how to feed herself something besides quesadillas and lunchables.

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and that's where i am right now.

next week we start thanksgiving break, then there's a few more weeks until winter break. after that? the never ending stretch until spring break.

life is moving so swiftly at times; at others, there's a standstill.