i will not buy more books.

i have made a commitment to find new homes for many of my books because, let's be honest, i am probably not going to reread the critical analysis of toni morrison's /beloved/ and /song of solomon/ during this lifetime. 

so i gathered books to be released and found it really, really difficult to let some of them go. for example, pynchon's /vineland/ was doubly problematic because a) pynchon and b) there was "from the library of" sticker inside with an old, very gone friend's name on it. there was some bad blood there, caused mostly by me being too ignorant and too idealistic, but there are also some lovely memories that i cherish. 

twenty odd years ago, i purchased /a room with a view/ from a used bookstore and the copy obvs has gone through many hands. it's musty and quite tattered, but i hold that book and i'm transported back to a time when mister and i were kidless, where i would read for pleasure and for my classes while sprawled out on our couch...his presence a soothing hum of white noise in the background. i remember those times being very quiet, very golden. plus, i really love that book — there are descriptions of LIGHT that, while i can't remember them in my head, i do remember them in my heart. 

some books were easy to put in the Box of Abandonment. /possession/, everything and anything by kurt vonegut, /rabbit, run/, and one offs that held nothing but vague memories of reading them and forgetting them. so at least there's that. 

still. it is a daunting task and we are nowhere (and i mean nowhere) done. 

because of all of this, i will NOT buy any new physical books, even though i want to. *nod* really. i mean it. 

BUT...if i happened to buy more books, i'd want to get /fourth wing/ by rebecca yarros and /crook manifesto/ by colson whitehead.