liminal_space | wild horses keep dragging me away (Reply)

my sweet angel misty!

+ misty has been here since friday and is settling in nicely. we were told that she was on the bottom of the herd hierarchy with the last group, but here? salty thing wants to be on top. bluebelle doesn't care too much, and is just so so so happy that she has a friend that she forgives misty's ear-pinning and butt-pointing.

i still haven't gotten on, and probably won't for a few more days or so. she's still settling and i want to keep things nice and calm, so i've limited things to grooming and hand walking through the stupid snow.

one thing that is making me just shake my head is that we have two VERY nice stalls that have hay nets and water, but neither misty nor bluebelle want to go inside — they just stand out in the snow and act like it's a nice, sunny day.

ugh. horses.

+ i've decided that this next 10 lbs (what i need to get to the next big ol' wl goal) is going to be the second hardest 10 lbs i have to lose on this journey. the hardest? the very last 10 lbs before goal weight.

i am so very, very lucky to have the support system i have to help me when i fall on black days. my wl group, husband, kid, doctor, etc have really rallied around me to give pep talks, advice, and reminders of how far i've come. they shut my negative self talk down and boost my spirits up to the nth degree!

some of the women in this group have been around since january of last year — one of them told me "i remember when you feared that your riding boots and a horse were pipe dreams....and now look! you have BOTH!" it was so sweet. =D

yesterday my MIL said, "you're getting so skinny!" and that right there was like the cherry on the sundae.

pls note: i am not SO skinny, i still have what feels like an infinite amount to lose, but i'm so so so so close. SO CLOSE. erg!

i'm back to regularly weighing portions, sticking with my set micros, and tracking everything; it's going to be what gets me where i'm going.

i also thought about going outside in my underwear to do my homestead version of cool sculpting, but changed my mind. pfft.

+ my dream of making money off the things i love is slowly coming to fruition. there are some things in the works i can't talk about yet, but some i can. :) one of the "i can" things is....

get ready for it..........

i sold five dozen eggs last week!!!!!! =D and i now have a standing order of two dozen a week with someone. i'm so excited! i swear, i'm going to have a little farm stand this year — it's going to be so fun!

i'm going to start weird tomato plants this next week and try to sell them, too. most places have here have the garden standards with a minimal # of heirlooms, so i'm going to try and fill that niche.

+ my mental health and that of my kid is keeping us off of social media and the news. we surround ourselves with positive as much as we can, do what we can to help those around us, and i'm working with the local dem group to write letters and bring awareness. not that any of that will do any good, but it keeps our hands busy.

i think mallorys_camera's take on all this nonsense and bullshit and obfuscation is spot the fuck on and it's nice to see someone else eloquently pin the tail on the donkey. so to speak.

all i know is that my daughter telling me that she feels hopeless about the future makes me want to.....

ahem.

resist.

violently&loudly&ferociously

ok, this got dark.

+ i need to think of something to "reward" myself when i hit my goal weight. i like thinking about things like this, because it gets me out of the self-doubt loop. :) a new fountain pen, maybe? a pair of tall boots? a new saddle? a cruise?

all of the above? lol

:( i do so love to shop.

~~fuck, the boots i want come from canada. lol >.< well, shit. not that the orange one is going to keep those in place very long. fucking idiot.~~

omg, it got dark again. UGH.

AHEM.

IN CLOSING....i would like to say that i need to be insular and protected right now in order to reduce stress eating. *nod* i mean it, yo. =D