forgive everyone, including yourself

* i'm doing much better than yesterday, thank goodness. even though i can feel it lurking just out of sight, it's pushed back and that is a very good thing. i rarely acknowledge to others when i'm at that edge of no-goodness, so for me to even write about it in this relatively non-anon space tells me it is/was worse than even i realized. i should probably look at finding another therapist, but....

but.

* mister/kid left at 9:49 a.m. this morning. there were many hugs and kisses and loves and watching them drive away felt like a chunk of my heart was rolling down the road. when i came inside, the dogs and i let our sadness be known:

- i cried a few tears.
- yoti the rescue trollop ran around the house looking for kid, then bit me. (gently-ish, on the hand; it's her love language)
- nandor got on the couch and husky-sassed all of us, telling us that no one would be as good to him as his "dad dad." (that's what kid says nandor calls mister...."dad dad" lol)
- kimjoy was like "why you all being weird? didn't they just go to get groceries? they'll be back in a minute!"

which leads me to a funny about kimjoy. she apparently has a bad case of object impermanence. (i know it's object permanence, but...) anyway, there are times i can get up and go in the bathroom for a shower and when i come out, it's like she forgot i existed until the moment she sees me again. it cracks me up -- she gets so excited. =D

* my project for the day is tackling the laundry room closet and organizing it:
[ ] sort towels to keep/donate to horse rescue
[ ] refold towels in fancy ways because why the eff not
[ ] get rid of stuff we don't need, etc.

the big problem will be the sheets. i HATE folding sheets so much. mister has done that job since we were married and i honestly think i've folded maybe 10 sheets since then. i wonder if he'll get mad if i just toss them all and buy new ones? =D

once i get all that done, i'll load the car with toss/donates for taking them to respective places tomorrow.

* i have a lot of plans for the time they're gone that focus on organizing and getting rid of things. one thing i'm going to do is get our bedroom CLEAN. this may or may not include the walk-in closet; it's too daunting to consider right now. i also want to be nice mom and clean kid's bedroom for her (it's not bad, just needs some love) so when she comes back, she'll have that little bit of joy before school sucks it back out of her. ;)

i basically have a full seven days to do THINGS and i want to utilize that time for things that will help me find my harmony. fighting!

~~~

so now it's back to work. :)