It's 9:30 a.m. -- the day's almost over

[liminal_space]

my father used to be an early sleeper and way early riser and used to say shit like "oh, you're up at 10 a.m. teenage daughter; the day's over you might as well go back to bed." and now i'm thinking the same thing. lol

what are you going to do?

yesterday was a real "do nothing" day. well, i did clean a little, but it was mostly the mess i made. i made onigirazu for the fam which they loved and i got jilted on because i made theirs first and ran out of rice for mine. meh! i also have decided doing THREE DIFFERENT TYPES (bulgogi, crab, and spam, all with egg) is too much work, so i'll only do one type next time.

next time will be awhile; the grocery store nori i had to resort to when trying to finish my last one sucked so so so much. so much. we are now nori-less. meh.

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i actually made the follow-up call to the counsellor i want to talk to. i hope she responds; i have a LOT of mental clutter that needs marie kondoed and her "this is what i do" checklist seemed to really fit my needs. the ONLY issue i may have is that she actually brings up she's christian and looks at problem solving through that lens, which i don't necessarily have a problem with but would rather it be a big-picture spiritual centering (new age? yep.) type thing. she assures her prospective clients that she works very well with those that are not of the faith, so we'll see. like i said...her checklist fit my needs. maybe that's a sign i need jesus. (said in that southern way that means you're a fuck-up and need help of some kind)

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so, news on the "should i quit" front. there's a HUGE recurring bill that we think will be paid off in november that, if it really will be opens a LOT of breathing room for us. a LOT. we think the truck is going to be paid off in october and that's another sizeable chunk of change that will provide serious buffer. i think if the november pay off is a for sure, my "should i quit" goes from a solid 82% yes to a 90% yes. o.O that's a step in the right direction!

what was making it a bit easier is my new work-wife was a little mean when i took my leave. but yesterday she messaged me saying she wanted to come visit. meh. it would be easier if she said she hated me. it would be easier if i still taught english. it would be easier if i hated my job.

but why should a decision this big be easy? why should it be drama-free and sacrifice-free and dilemma-free?

MAYBE BECAUSE I HAVE HAD ENOUGH TOUGH DECISIONS IN MY LIFE, UNIVERSE. EVER THINK OF THAT?

---insert sincere apology to the universe for being saucy and a big knowitall--

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last night i told mister that not having a real schedule has been a detriment to me. he's being SO CONSIDERATE to me about sleeping in when i need to, not cleaning when i don't want to, not cooking because i'm on my chaise being verklempt, acting a mess when it feels like it that i'm starting to feel guilty. but anyway, back to the schedule. so, yeah; being a free agent is not great for a person who is not consistently a "motivated, self-starter" like myself.

i'm gen-x; we invented "whatever".

so i've been mulling ways to create a schedule that will work for me while still giving me enough freedom to keep me from feeling oppressed and micromanaged by the man; the second i start feeling oppressed and micromanaged, i go french revolution thinking wise. that's no good for anyone; that's good for no one.

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here's my to do list for the day. let's see if this helps like it usually does. (seriously, i love lists. lists are a way for chaos to become orderly. i'm not saying i do anything with lists once they're made, but i. love. lists.)

Comments

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhh. Big ❤️❤️❤️ for marie-kondoing as a verb.

You know, after I got laid off from my high-power, mega-stressful corporate job, it took me (literally) five months of essentially doing nothing, and doing it pretty aimlessly to decompress.

Just sayin'. 😊

[liminal-space.livejournal.com]

I verb nouns too frequently — but some of them demand it, you know? =D

.

I went from teaching English (high stakes tests! too many meetings! arguments about how to teach! admin breathing down our necks!) to a STEM elective (ignored by admin! we build stuff! there's a budget for toys! LEGO!) so my stress level went down tremendously. TREMENDOUSLY.

It's still difficult and exhausting, though. Being a teacher — and trying to be the best one you can be — is consuming. And I'm still doing things outside of my regular day to make things "better" for my students.

I'm too selfish for this. lol

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Lists are good.

[liminal-space.livejournal.com]

They are! And sometimes I used different colored pens and make doodles. So it's like color/art therapy on top of it!

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

:)

[namastaybaybay.livejournal.com]

My boss is an early sleeper and early riser. Don't call after 8 and he will email me as early as 3 a.m.. So much energy in a five foot tall man

[liminal-space.livejournal.com]

Some people are just like that.

[elainegrey.livejournal.com]

I tried the pomodoro method with it's do for X min take a break for Y minutes and was miserable: yes, all French revolution. Hoping your connections work out.

[liminal-space.livejournal.com]

You know, I like the IDEA of small spurts of do then small spurts of do nothings — but in practice, it blows and messes up the flow of my day.

Vive la révolution!