my body betrays me

[liminal_space]

— is anyone else a different size on top than what they are on the bottom? i'm a size larger up-top than down-below and it's irritating. additionally, my new lower size pants that were a tad snug a few weeks ago now fit great around the waist....but feel too baggy around the thighs. >.< 

also, i was rubbing lotion on my shoulders the other day and got grossed out. i can feel bones. i HATE the feel of bones....they give me the huhs. seriously, i hate it. 

i'm feeling a little salty right now about body image and lifestyle necessities and i hope to get over it soon. i just keep in mind that losing this much weight is going to make my body go through changes until it all evens out....but some days, when i feel like some of the changes happening are not WHERE i want them to happen, it's hard. and i feel old and silly for doing this. 

then i decide i want to get plastic surgery on everything and injections of fillers here and there — in mexico, where i can get it all done for $18 US. (ok, exaggeration. but i do have a friend who went and got plastic surgery in mexico (she got stomach fat moved to her booty) and ended up getting an infection on the stomach part. o.O she had to have it fixed in the US, but her insurance covered it because it was due to infection. 

i kid, i kid! sort of.

anyway.

— i'm sitting at a little coffee house waiting for kid to finish her dr. appointment so we can decide what else we want to do. the weather is really NICE today (almost 40 degrees!), so i'm thinking shopping needs to happen. i ate before we left, so should be ok to avoid the mean german's chocolate shop and culvers...if i get too peckish, i can get an egg on wheat toast here. 

~~

what i should be working on is some writing. what am i don't instead? fiddling about here while eavesdropping on the conversations around me. don't judge — people are fascinating! :) i don't listen to everything, i just sort of channel surf the tables around me. 

ok. kid is back. bye. :)

Comments

[man-of-snows.livejournal.com]

I often think of surgery...as if it would be easier overall than the work to change my body...but then I think about the risks and recovery of surgery and IDK. I can't afford the good surgeons. lol

[liminal-space.livejournal.com]

me, either! :( I have a coin jar I am jokingly calling my plastic surgery jar. It has $2.73 in it at the moment — a ways to go. =D

[kensmind.livejournal.com]

Hmm, pants that were too tight before fit comfortably now, nice problem to have! Last time I got down to my dream weight, I vowed never to gain again. I bought a couple of spiffy new suits. They're hanging in my closet now, fresh from their last dry-cleaning, over four years ago. But never say never! They shall be mine once again!

[sweetmeow]

I've lost much less weight than you, but my fingers are the oddest and most annoying place I've lost weight. My rings fall off my fingers — at least on the fingers they were designed to be worn. Ring guards don't fit on all styles of rings, especially the wide ones. Ray had given me a few beautiful Belle Etoile rings over several years, and I have to wear them now on my left-hand middle finger — not my right-hand ring finger. I have a ring guard on my engagement ring, protecting the wedding band. But they still twirl around and are annoying.

[inchpinching.livejournal.com]

Immediately after my breast surgery I watched a few episodes of "Botched" for some reason, a very significant portion of the people featured needed repairs for janky out-of-country discount surgeries 😳 so I do hope you kid you kid, no "sort of"!

[tigerpestbd.livejournal.com]

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[kazzy-cee.livejournal.com]

There are so many horror stories about fillers and plastic surgery that have put me off for life! I like my wrinkles — they show my journey *g*. I work hard at keeping my body in trim and fortunately I mostly manage to keep around my target weight, although the scale occasionally disagrees with me LOL!

[namastaybaybay.livejournal.com]

One of the investigators in my office has lost over one hundred pounds. She cannot afford surgery for her loose skin but she said it is a reminder that she has come so far. She really has.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Losing the amount of weight you've lost is awesome & inspiring. Just saying! 😀

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I hate buying pants because not only am I not thin but I apparently have short legs for my height.

[welfaremom.livejournal.com]

First of all, those egg prices sound good to me! I'm paying $7-$8/dozen for pastured eggs around Portland!

Second, I hope you feel proud of your body change at least most of the time. I work as a personal trainer, nutrition coach and instructor these days, and after nearly twenty years in this field, I am fully in support of bodily autonomy, whatever that means for an individual, under the old "first do no harm" principle. I have noticed that *everyone* has poor body image days, no matter how conforming to beauty standards, and that when our bodies change in new ways, it never looks the way we expect. So this is normal.

<3

[albert71292.livejournal.com]

Careful with south of the border "filler injections". I've read several "horror stories" over the years.