inherent danger

[liminal_space]

+ horses are inherently dangerous, there's just no getting around that fact. they're big, they're prey animals, and "horse language" that could move off another horse (kicking, biting, shoving) can move YOU off sailing through the air or requiring stitches. the goal is to KNOW that without letting it BOTHER you — horses pick up on that and have a "book of mischief" they all pull from for ideas on how to fuck with you. 

+ well, my goal of losing that five lbs by month's end is TOTALLY not going to happen. lol i was miffy about that yesterday — whining to myself about how hard i've been working, and how the scale is being an unfair bully, and how i ate a full salad a week ago WITH NO RESULTS (ha). sulking and being a big baby sometimes help me process my feels. 

today i had to update my journey to small breeches(tm) with recent weight loss (past six months is recent, right?) and damn it all, it really put things in perspective. i have done incredibly well each month and have no legitimate complaints. in novemember i even lost an average of 2.25 lbs per week which, at this point, is really good! 

i went back to that month and looked at my food logs and realized that november had no missed days of tracking and on each day, i met my protein and veggie goals and at least got close with water. so, time to get back to that "for reals" (and this time i mean it!). :) 

+ in other news, i made some vegetarian bolognese last night and it was sooooo good. i used canned tomatoes from last year's garden! this strikes me as a very wonderful thing; all that terror i felt while canning things has faded a bit, so i don't think about botulism when i eat things that i preserve. well,  not as much worry anyway. 

+ beyond all that? i'm just enjoying the warmer weather and plotting and planning for spring. i'm joining a local writing group this week and hope that, along with other things, will help me carve out writing time that is nonnegotiable. as it stands, there's always SOMETHING that gets in the way of writing. 

at times, the SOMETHING is legit....at other times, it's my own bullshit that is a barrier. 

~~~

i am so behind on paperwork and correspondence that i'm going to need a full day just to get partially caught up. do i want to do this? of course not. i want to search online for gargoyle statues for my garden. *nod* :P

xo

 

Comments

[kazzy-cee.livejournal.com]

Congrats on preserving your tomatoes! That's so cool! I love veggie bolognaise :)

[zeecha.livejournal.com]

I enjoy reading about your horse-y thoughts, your health goals/weight loss journey, your cooking adventures (including the canning), the enjoyment on a sunny day. Don't get too crazy with planting plans-remember, gardening ends up being work!
My own bullshit is *always* the biggest barrier in my life, no matter what I'm doing.

Thanks for posting. xo