my body betrays me

— is anyone else a different size on top than what they are on the bottom? i'm a size larger up-top than down-below and it's irritating. additionally, my new lower size pants that were a tad snug a few weeks ago now fit great around the waist....but feel too baggy around the thighs. >.< 

also, i was rubbing lotion on my shoulders the other day and got grossed out. i can feel bones. i HATE the feel of bones....they give me the huhs. seriously, i hate it. 

i'm feeling a little salty right now about body image and lifestyle necessities and i hope to get over it soon. i just keep in mind that losing this much weight is going to make my body go through changes until it all evens out....but some days, when i feel like some of the changes happening are not WHERE i want them to happen, it's hard. and i feel old and silly for doing this. 

then i decide i want to get plastic surgery on everything and injections of fillers here and there — in mexico, where i can get it all done for $18 US. (ok, exaggeration. but i do have a friend who went and got plastic surgery in mexico (she got stomach fat moved to her booty) and ended up getting an infection on the stomach part. o.O she had to have it fixed in the US, but her insurance covered it because it was due to infection. 

i kid, i kid! sort of.

anyway.

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